I cannot wrap my head around another Christmas season launching in just a few weeks! (Of course, the retailers think the Christmas season began weeks ago!!) It seems like it was just yesterday, we came home from a Christmas gathering in Indiana to find our “live” tree on its death bed: drooping branches, needles on the floor and brown, dry branches that would make great kindling for a fire!
I remember removing the ornaments while being jabbed with dry needles, dragging the “fire hazard” out the door, and cleaning up thousands (maybe millions!) of pine needles. In the empty space where the tree stood, I imagined the gifts piled high soon to be dissolved into a scene of shredded paper, ribbons, bows and boxes. Could I even remember what those gifts were? Maybe one or two. But what I did remember is the presence of each child and grandchild. The smiles, laughter, tears, hugs, cuddles, the “just being in each other’s presence” stayed with me long after the gifts were set aside.
My love language is gift-giving, just ask my kids and my husband! I love giving gifts, and of course, getting them, too! Watching those I love open gifts I picked out is a delight. But this year has taught me how much more important our “presence” is than a physical gift.
Last December, our son-in-law, Ron, went through a health crisis that resurfaced again in January. Both times, he spent multiple days in the hospital. Because we now live only 2 hours away, I could be “present” to cook, play with Lee (our grandson), clean, feed Lee, do laundry, rock Lee, visit Ron in the hospital, be an emotional support to my daughter, Kristen, take walks with Lee, and most importantly just “be” with them. What a privilege to give this gift!
This year we’ve had the opportunity to watch our grandchildren while their parents “took a break.” Being “present” with the kiddos made for some interesting times, some great, some challenging, and some downright hilarious!
For example, on our visit to Oklahoma City, we offered to watch our granddaughters, Eden and Cedar, for just a few hours while the parents went out alone. No big deal, right? We’ve done this parenting thing. Never mind that we are 30 years older and don’t remember some of the “finer” points! Everything was going great, but it was nearing supper-time, and I thought it would be fun to treat them to Chick-Fil-A. Chick-Fil-A was only 10 minutes away. I could just pop over there, do drive-thru, and be back in no time. Lane could hold down the “fort” while I was gone, right?
Unfortunately, there were 2 Chick-fil-A’s, and I keyed in the one 20 minutes away, which actually ended up being a half hour because I missed the exit off the interstate. An hour later (yes, that’s right!), I show up with CFA to find two girls that are no longer hungry, because Lane had to give them a snack to keep them from “melting” down, and a husband that is “hangry.” It gets better! After setting the food out and trying to get the girls to eat something, Cedar falls off her chair, hits her head on the concrete floor (that part was NOT funny), and is obviously inconsolable. Time for a video break of “Frozen” and everything got better:-). We were so glad we could be “present” for these memory-making experiences! It’s all good;-). Cedar’s birthday party was the highlight!!
More recently, I’ve been the recipient of the gift of “presence” while navigating breast cancer. Friends have delivered meals and stayed to visit, gone to appointments with me, prayed with me before surgery, and offered to come over just to “sit” with me. Our children and family members have checked on me frequently, and visited when they could. And my husband, Lane, has been by my side supporting me physically and emotionally! Those who could not be physically present, still made their “presence” known through phone calls, texts and cards:-). And my Heavenly Father has been “present” through it all!
I am confident, if my dad, Wil Watson, were still living, he would have been “present,” too, during my cancer journey. My father had the gift of “presence” and modeled it for me consistently throughout his pastoral ministry. He knew how to “be” with people in times of crisis, times of joy and all the in-between.
Dad knew how to do this with his family, too. When my late husband, Kevin, was diagnosed with brain cancer, he came from Bourbonnais, IL to Atlanta, GA to sit with us in the waiting room during Kevin’s 8-hour brain surgery. A few months later, he came and stayed for an entire month to take Kevin to his treatments while I continued teaching!
I remember dad traveling down to Athens, GA, to spend time with his grandson, Kerry, and encourage him during a difficult time in his life. He helped my brothers with house projects, went climbing with my brother, Dave, came to sit with Kristen when Ron had abdominal surgery, officiated family weddings…..the list could go on and on.
As we approach another Christmas season and the year 2025, with all its unknowns, it is comforting to know that our heavenly father sent Jesus to be with us, “present” with us, our Emmanuel. God has given us the gift of His “presence,” through his Son, Jesus, not just on special occasions, or in times of crisis, but for always.
God’s “presence” is a gift to be given to others. Practicing the gift of “presence” requires me to give of my time and energy, get out of my comfort zone and learn how to just “sit” with those I love and those who need to be loved. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all practiced giving more “presence?”
By the way, this year, there will be no needles on the floor or dry, brittle branches. We are ditching the “live” tree for an artificial tree. Say it isn’t so! I’ve finally given up the long-standing Watson tradition of finding a live tree on Thanksgiving weekend, dragging it home, putting it in a stand with water, watering it every day…… Come to think of it, why didn’t I do this a long time ago?!
Soul Care 